What Women Mean When They Say: “Where have the real men gone?”

All through my twenties and well into my thirties, I was not particularly popular with women.

Every now and then, however, I attracted a beautiful woman, and once these women got to know me better, they rarely wanted to leave. I seemed to speak to their imagination.

In hindsight, I realize that my forte with women has been my ‘verticality’, as one of them called it. The fact that I would do everything to please her, but always for my own reasons. I could not accept when a woman crossed my boundaries, and would never sell my soul to her, however good-looking or beautiful. I was always prepared to leave and never feared being left.

Many years later, it crystallized to me that if a man is lacking in anything in order to tap into his full seductive prowess, he is lacking in integrity. Even when he is charming, and the kind of man she likes the company of and to converse with; if this man is not in the dreams of beautiful women, it is because he stands for nothing or very little. There is not much that he can be trusted for.

If this man wants to be a great seducer, his primary and overarching focus should be to discover and create – to carve – his integrity.

Throughout history and from what I have gathered on my travels, no great seducer was ever a moral guardian, but each one of them had strong integrity. I would go as far as saying that the abundance a woman experiences from her beauty, a man can only attain through fame or his integrity.

Everywhere in the world, women wonder: ‘Where have the real men gone?’.

What she is aching for, I believe, is a man of integrity, a man who stands for something. A man worthy of her trust. She wants to find a man she can trust enough to surrender to.

In this day and age, the invisible powers of the almighty mundane loom in every corner. They drag us down, suck our soul and kill us slowly.
Few of us wake up to the idea that to resist these powers is the fight of our lives. Something is not quite right, so we sense, but we have become so good at tolerating our plight that we end up giving in and settle for less than we dreamed of. Like frogs in gradually freezing water, growing more numb with every dropping degree.

A critical step in becoming a seductive man is to find and fight those drag-ons. To recognize their power and stand unwavering. To not give in, to never settle, or – if necessary – to fight back.

To seduce is an act of rebellion.

A man committed to fight that battle till the bitter end instantly becomes the fantasy of beautiful women. Such a man grows from a man she likes the company of, to the man she cannot stop thinking about. That integrity is an indispensable condition for every glorious seduction. Such verticality is a prerequisite for a man to keep seducing his Woman.

A man has to be upright, so as to allow Her to be frivolous.

From the foreword of ‘the Way of a Seducer – A Code of Honor in the Land of Women‘